BEING PROUD
19,000 PLAYERS AND GROWING.
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GETTING TO KNOW
CHRISTOPHER HALEY, 29
For the past two months, we’ve shared stories from our leagues in Memphis (BCSA) and the Twin Cities (TCGSL), and we’ll continue that series next month. For Pride Month in June, we’re switching it up and spotlighting younger players (under 30) from across North America—sharing how they found queer, inclusive softball and what this community means to them.
During those championship runs, Chris knew he was gay, and so did his family. He came out when he was 19, but it wasn’t exactly on purpose. He was out of town with family when a cousin saw some messages on his phone and from there, the truth came out.
During those championship runs, Chris knew he was gay, and so did his family. He came out when he was 19, but it wasn’t exactly on purpose. He was out of town with family when a cousin saw some messages on his phone and from there, the truth came out.
His mom took it the hardest. “She kept asking me if I was gay and I kept lying and telling her no. So when I came out, she was upset; not because I was gay, but, according to her, because I had lied to her.”
But now, he says, it’s all good. Just how good? Keep reading…
Once hockey was over, Chris needed to find another passion, so he started playing softball in USSSA (U-Trip) leagues around the St. Louis metro area. He didn’t know gay leagues even existed until a straight family friend who had been playing in St. Louis Gay and Lesbian Summer Softball league (GLASS) for a couple of years suggested he try it out.
“I had never heard about GLASS before,” Haley said. But now, almost four years later, he’s glad he did; though he admits, he didn’t know what to expect.
The first few weeks of the season went fine, if lacking success. “We were having fun, but the games weren’t very close,” Saylor said.
That is, until midway through the season, all the stars aligned — bats and gloves came alive at the same time. The game ended with a Cruisers victory, 10-3, their first one as a team.
“You’d have thought we just won the world series,” Saylor recalled. “Most were celebrating by jumping and yelling and hugging each other like long-lost friends.”
That isn’t to say everything was peachy. It was still 1993, after all. Saylor said there were some not-so-nice comments every now and then, and they stung. But there was an angel who came to their aid.
As if coaching multiple teams weren’t enough, last year Haley wanted to contribute to the organization, so he joined the board as the fundraising director and is responsible for bringing new sponsors onboard, creating social events, and helping the league’s sponsors get their money’s worth.
“GLASS means a lot to me. It motivates me, knowing that I’m going to be around my community, and that I can be myself and not have to hide,” he said. “It’s a good, safe space for my community.”
In his four years, Haley has played in well over a dozen tournaments, meeting people and making friends all over the country. He’s also played in three Gay Softball World Series, finishing twice in the top 5 in C with the Missouri Mayhem and coached his own team this last year, the St. Louis Monarchs, to a respectable 6-2 record before being eliminated.
He also understands fully the role of being a coach in a gay league. “The coach title carries with it a huge responsibility,” he acknowledged. “You’re the person who is responsible for that organization. You’re the person people come to with questions. There’s an expectation for positivity, for good sportsmanship, and for keeping people held to high standards for how you behave on and off the field.”
Though he recognizes the importance of his role, he also recognizes the importance of not taking oneself too seriously. “It’s gay softball,” he said. “We’re here to have fun, to be positive and to socialize, but you can still do that and stay competitive and maintain sportsmanship.”
Like so many others in iPride, Christopher Haley has found his chosen family in the ranks of the queer softball world.
“There are people in the organization who I feel comfortable sharing everything with,” he said. “You can count on people week in and week out, to pick you up when you’re down.