BEING PROUD
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GETTING TO KNOW
RAY OMNE, 19
Ray Omne moved from the Philippines to San Francisco with his mom when he was already 16 years old. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t know anyone, and he didn’t really speak the language. So, when he came over, he not only had to learn English, he also had to figure out what being gay looked like for him.
Naturally then, he was really quiet about his sexuality. He’d had a few experiences with guys back home, but he didn’t really know about gay culture or what that looked like in the U.S. All he really knew was how the men back home would talk about gay people, and he didn’t want any part of that.
Once in a U.S. high school, his small stature and broken English made him an easy target for bullying. Eventually, Ray found a sympathetic teacher and, after building up some trust, shared his secret about his sexuality and how he didn’t really know anybody else who was. This being San Francisco, that teacher was also gay, and told him about gay softball. Ray was very interested, but only 17. The teacher explained that for insurance and liability issues, Ray couldn’t join until he was 18.
“The teacher told me that once I turned 18, if I was still interested, to come and find him,” Ray said.
A few months later, during a break in school Ray burst into the teacher’s classroom and said, “Hey! I’m officially 18 now! How do I get on a team?”
That teacher connected him with the San Francisco Gay Softball League (SFGSL) commissioner Vincent Fuqua. Fuqua then connected Ray with a trusted friend, William Odom-Green, who not only plays in San Francisco but is also the commissioner of the Silicon Valley Gay Softball League (SVGSL) in San Jose.
Odom-Green reached out to the 18-year-old to help him understand the landscape. “He talked less about softball the game, and more about softball as a community,” Ray said. Odom-Green didn’t sugarcoat it. “He told me there are some really great people in the league and, because I was only 18, that there would be folks who might pursue me for reasons other than softball.”
Odom-Green took on a genuinely caring mentor role for Ray. “William is really great,” he said. “He’s like coach number one for me.”
Working with Odom-Green, Ray would learn the fundamentals of the sport, but he was starting from the very beginning.
“I had zero clue about softball or baseball as a sport,” Ray said. “I knew nothing about throwing a softball or swinging a bat.”
The learning curve was steep and dangerous.
“I’m at this practice and William put me in front of a tee,” Ray said. “He showed me how to grip a bat. I’d never held one in my life. He said ‘Don’t think about anything but hitting the ball. I want you to just concentrate on swinging the bat.’”
Ray said that his coach explained he was going to count to three and once he got to three, Ray was to swing the bat and hit the ball on the tee. “Once he hit three he said ‘Swing!’ So I swung as hard as I could, but halfway through I let go of the bat. It flew right by my coach’s head!”
Once in a U.S. high school, his small stature and broken English made him an easy target for bullying. Eventually, Ray found a sympathetic teacher and, after building up some trust, shared his secret about his sexuality and how he didn’t really know anybody else who was. This being San Francisco, that teacher was also gay, and told him about gay softball. Ray was very interested, but only 17. The teacher explained that for insurance and liability issues, Ray couldn’t join until he was 18.
“The teacher told me that once I turned 18, if I was still interested, to come and find him,” Ray said.
A few months later, during a break in school Ray burst into the teacher’s classroom and said, “Hey! I’m officially 18 now! How do I get on a team?”
That teacher connected him with the San Francisco Gay Softball League (SFGSL) commissioner Vincent Fuqua. Fuqua then connected Ray with a trusted friend, William Odom-Green, who not only plays in San Francisco but is also the commissioner of the Silicon Valley Gay Softball League (SVGSL) in San Jose.
Odom-Green reached out to the 18-year-old to help him understand the landscape. “He talked less about softball the game, and more about softball as a community,” Ray said. Odom-Green didn’t sugarcoat it. “He told me there are some really great people in the league and, because I was only 18, that there would be folks who might pursue me for reasons other than softball.”
Odom-Green took on a genuinely caring mentor role for Ray. “William is really great,” he said. “He’s like coach number one for me.”
Working with Odom-Green, Ray would learn the fundamentals of the sport, but he was starting from the very beginning.
“I had zero clue about softball or baseball as a sport,” Ray said. “I knew nothing about throwing a softball or swinging a bat.”
The learning curve was steep and dangerous.
“I’m at this practice and William put me in front of a tee,” Ray said. “He showed me how to grip a bat. I’d never held one in my life. He said ‘Don’t think about anything but hitting the ball. I want you to just concentrate on swinging the bat.’”
Ray said that his coach explained he was going to count to three and once he got to three, Ray was to swing the bat and hit the ball on the tee. “Once he hit three he said ‘Swing!’ So I swung as hard as I could, but halfway through I let go of the bat. It flew right by my coach’s head!”
He’s also learned the power and reach of International Pride Softball. “I’ve made friends with other teams and in other cities across the country, just in one year,” he said. “I’ve learned that in the gay softball community, it’s really easy to make a friend. You just can’t be a douchebag.”
But maybe most importantly, Ray learned that being gay doesn’t have to look like the way the men back home used to talk about. He’s learned being gay doesn’t have to be any one specific thing. “As someone who was just coming out and had no clue about the gay community, it’s been a really great education,” he said. “I’ve met so many different kinds of people and been in many different situations. I’ve learned a lot.”
He’s also learned how to be Ray. “I’ve learned to be myself and express who I am. I’ve learned that I can be me, and that’s okay.”
And that’s kind of what it’s all about.